I think as a rule of thumb, if you're asking yourself this question - the answer is probably yes.
Whether this revulsion in your own behavior, your understanding and fear of your capabilities leads you to change, can, I think be due to many factors.
Your will, your belief, your support system and acceptance.
I tried to moderate/stop drinking for 4 years before I managed it on the 23rd of March 2014 and not a drop of alcohol has passed my lips since then. How did I manage it? What made the change? I can absolutely hand on heart say that it was finding the website www.soberistas.com . Why was this so life changing? Because I realised I wasn't alone...
To give a brief background of my journey to heavy drinking - and my decision to stop completely - It is a pretty complex story, so I will talk about it further in future posts...
The real catalyst I suppose was the transition from individual to parent. As a young person I was you might say 'fairly wild' or a 'hedonist'. Then at the age of 26 I became a parent and was living in France away from home. Then at 28 I had two children under 2... Then at 30 I had two toddlers, three jobs and a husband who worked away. To compensate with the sheer weight of my day to day life. I started using drink as a comfort. I drank when I was happy, I drank when I was sad. I drank when I was lonely and when I finally left the house to socialise. I was trying to claw back my independence. I was drowning quite literally and I couldn't cope.
By 32 I was smoking heavily again, I was drinking every night - and if I wasn't drinking I was trying not to drink. I would black out, I would wake up and bolt up the stairs to check the children were ok... I would tell myself over and over again that I needed to give up, that I couldn't moderate. That giving up was the only solution - but socially... how could I take the one thing away that I felt defined me???
My family drinks, my husband drinks, I live in France, my friends at home and here are drinkers, I felt isolated enough, I couldn't stop...
In September 2012 I had a severe panic attack. My body was wrecked, I didn't sleep anymore I passed out, I had a full on job, two kids, a husband who loves to drink... I was on the verge of losing it all. The clinical term is BURNOUT.
It took between then and now to put the pieces back together, I started CBT counselling. I did a lot of major soul searching. All of this wasn't about the drinking, and this is something I will post about later.
I still drank... I gave up smoking... I still drank...
At Christmas 2013 my parents were over, we all drank pretty much all of the time, in front of the kids... We were all hungover on Christmas morning. I always swore I wouldn't do that...
On Boxing day they left, I had had alcohol induced insomnia for 2 days, my kidneys ached, I was depressed exhausted and OVER it... The cycle of drinking, regret, self abuse had to stop.
I was searching on the web and found SOBERISTAS and it saved me.
I read about women just like me
Women who had done, what I had dreamed about.
Women being open and sharing their stories
Women encouraging others.
I went down stairs and told my husband that I wanted to stop for good. This time with the resolve in my tear filled eyes and he believed me.
In February I felt 'cured' I believed I could go back to occasional drinking...
By March I realised that you can always find an excuse for a drink. So I had to stop for good.
What is better about life Alcohol Free?
Being in control - Having more fun - Trusting yourself - Being healthy - Being optimistic - Making plans - Feeling proud of yourself - Being an example to your children - Never feeling hungover - Enjoying every hour of your weekend - Sober sleep and sober sex ;-)
This checklist really helped me decide that life alcohol free was what I needed (Thanks again to soberistas) and the writer Liz Hemingway.
Please read the following link...
DO YOU REALLY HAVE A DRINK PROBLEM?
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